Oscar Mayer: butcher, inventor, health-nut, King of Packed Meat dies

When i heard the news that Oscar Mayer was dead, I shouted “Baloney,” but now it’s sinking in that the King of Packed Meat (KOPM) is gone forever. Wife Geraldine Fitzpatrick, says it was old age?! Is that still killing people? I smell bacon.

I think Mr. Mayer should have a dignified sendoff… Something respectful and tasteful… Something with Mariah Carey and the wienermobile; maybe they could just leave things set up in the Staples Center. What more for the man who was able to turn inards into an empire; and an automobile into a hot dog.